Saturday, November 11, 2006
Drunkard
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused,the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out..........
"Holy shit ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused,the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out..........
"Holy shit ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"
Friday, November 10, 2006
My First time....
It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever..
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At milking a cow...
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Doctor's Office
Doctor's Office:
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there and you say in
front of others what's wrong and sometimes it's embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell
her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old
guy handled it.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's Waiting Room. As he
approached the desk, the Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you
seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. The Receptionist
became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded Doctor's
Room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The
Receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in
this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong
with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with
the Doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of
others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The
Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken
her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The Waiting Room erupted in laughter.
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there and you say in
front of others what's wrong and sometimes it's embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell
her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old
guy handled it.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's Waiting Room. As he
approached the desk, the Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you
seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. The Receptionist
became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded Doctor's
Room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The
Receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in
this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong
with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with
the Doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of
others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The
Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken
her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The Waiting Room erupted in laughter.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Do it Again
A sixteen-year-old girl goes to see her mom and tells her that she has
missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did
this to you? I want to know!!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a brand
new Ferrari stops at their house, a mature and distinguished man, with
grey hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of
it and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and
tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but
I'll take charge.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 3 stores, 2 townhouses, a beach
villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories, and a
$1,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $500,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage..."
At this point, the father, who had remained silent all the time, places
hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him:
"You'll fuck her again!!!"
missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did
this to you? I want to know!!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a brand
new Ferrari stops at their house, a mature and distinguished man, with
grey hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of
it and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and
tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but
I'll take charge.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 3 stores, 2 townhouses, a beach
villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories, and a
$1,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $500,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage..."
At this point, the father, who had remained silent all the time, places
hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him:
"You'll fuck her again!!!"
